Thursday, May 30, 2019

Tiny Meat fears Blood Pressure Test at Medical Appointment By Cal Avocado (guest blogger)

Medical appointment yesterday was a horror show. My fear of Blood Pressure measure in highest bloom. The 2 alternating medical officials repeated "stay on task!" throughout the appointment. No chitchat, no discussion but pressing treatment. Heart Rate gushing high. It had been as low as 50's in the morning in my apartment and high as 116 in the angst of this measurement to be publicly executed in a window-less exam carton (room) augmented by officials nipping at me for more efficiency, less whining, less immaturity, less childishness, keep ever ahead. It was a tragedy. The highest official charged with my case ordered an EKG therewith and the sub-official administered it. Fortunately the results were normal. And the BP measurement was OK, in spite of Heart Rate scraping the sky, which was quite a surprise as BP readings at dentist and periodontist in recent memory have been faint worthy. The official attending me marveled at my anxiety levels I could have survived to 61. Moreover, she expressed surprise I'm not taking medications for a weak mind and opined we all have to die, qwitchyerbellyachin' little queen, old prune, bedbug, faggot. I'm castrated, as if testicles existed in the first place! She and her lieutenant shamed my coward. An embarrassing example for all. A disaster.

This morning in the privacy of my apartment, Blood Pressure was perfect 121/75 as hardly any anxiety. Death is almost preferable to a medical appointment with Blood Pressure test. Yet here I sit another morning. So not quite.

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